Azalea – Part 2 of Introducing the Stars
‘I stepped through the people into a cauldron of heat and orange light. In the centre was a woman. Twirling fire. As the fire brushed her skin, there were whistles and cheers. She was wearing a short skirt and top of shiny gold medallions. Her body twisted and twirled, as black wisps of smoke whipped around her. She changed stance, then moved her eyes to mine. Her gaze, an explosion of shooting stars that lifted me to the heavens.’ ~ from my book, Ace Egos
Travelling Out
I sit here and type this article as cable cars move up and down Sugarloaf Mountain – Pão de Açúcar – out the window of my apartment, in Rio de Janeiro. Travelling out for 3 months, sometimes a whole year, is something I don’t take lightly. I am fully aware how new places take getting used to, extensive time alone can be heavy, and money runs low. But, thanks to whatever or however, I have the conditions to do it. So I do. The two reasons I do is: I believe that we all must create a journey for ourselves. And, no one is going to do anything for me, but me. These two, combined, form my life mantra: I am only ever as me as how me my journey is.
Why do so many wise people say – it is the journey and not the destination? Because it is in the moments of ‘in between’ where our true character is tested. We surprise ourselves with new ways to get to somewhere, we lean into the best of what we can be. But most importantly, we find ourselves. When we start a journey, we are only just breaking away, identity is still enmeshed in our place, in our people. At journey's end, the location of arrival takes center stage. Somewhere along the way, we only have ourselves. And this is where we become our own source of perseverance, our own caregivers, our own dependable friend. It is in these moments, more than ever, how evident it is that we are never separated from ‘the me’ that is having the experience.
I rode that Sugarloaf cable car, the one I watch every day from my window. When I was on it, I thought about how we get to a platform – a state of achievement, or defeat, or perhaps neutrality – and it is a useful, beautiful time to look out. To recognise what is around us, where we have come from, and where we will go. To catch our breath even. Then we ascend again, or we descend. The cable car moves along. When we enjoy life the most, is when we make it how we want. This means being with whoever, or wherever, in our own skin. Fully feeling who we are. Fully acting and doing with appreciation for life. This is where the cable car glides, effortless. We merely have to take in the magic as we glide along.
An Adventurous Romantic Who Tries New Things
Azalea will make you fall in love with my book. She draws Callum in the moment he sees her, twirling fire at a festival in Tiergarten, Berlin. If you have read my post about Magoa, you’ll know he is a gentle giant that steers Callum in the right directions. It is no coincidence that Azalea and Callum meet, because of Magoa. Azalea is eccentric and transient; a fiercely independent woman. She escaped a traumatic childhood, finding solace in the sea, sailing in and around Europe, or living near the ocean, for most of her life. She has decided to temporarily settle in Berlin, as a place to explore her creativity, and slowly try to integrate back into community. Meeting Callum gives her the perfect companion to do that, who’s sunny take on city-life, while also being a rock n’ roll misfit, vibe with her. It also helps they are both completely enamoured with each other.
Being the protagonist, Callum is forced through an intense period of personal growth, urged on by Azalea. She constantly reminds him that he needs to be ‘more wild’ in their relationship, which is to stay, release his inhibitions and insecurities. This is a ‘head banging against the wall’ situation for Callum, as when it comes to being a drummer on stage, he can totally let loose with reckless abandon. But within the confines of intimate relationship, he’s unsure how to activate that same ability, which seems to come so naturally as a rockstar. Needless to say, trying to reconcile this is what drives him to achieving his greatest breakthroughs.
What has been most endearing for me in writing and discovering the development of Azalea and Callum’s relationship, is in how they both motivate each other. Later, Callum’s ‘opening up’ to Azalea, in conversation and deed – encouraged by Tori, Callum’s sister and bandmate – is what sparks Azalea to make the bravest decision ever: to return home and face her dark past. This theme of ‘The Return Home,’ whether we are optimistic or pessimistic about it, is the place to stabilise the fulfillment that comes from leading our own lives. The occasion when we integrate who we once were and who we have become – our Core and Surface selves.
Building Your Golden Hand
My Ace Egos card game is designed purely around Core and Surface ‘Challenges’ and ‘Superpowers.’ Which makes the card game not only a fun way to pass time, but to learn about the path of your own existence. The book and the card game are entities on their own, but also exist together, and inform each other, as part of the Ace Egos world I am creating.
The culminating moment of Joseph Campbell’s ‘The Hero’s Journey’ is in the returning home, changed, but also the same. Transformed. It is literally a physical, external state of transformation. But more profound, an internal one. When we bring all that we have become back into our original world, it can be very jarring. It is not easy. It is definitely not pretty. A lot of tales paint the scene as a ‘Happily ever after – The End’ resolution. This ideal is probably what makes ‘returning home’ such a disillusionment. But if we’ve learned anything from our journeying, it is that we are our own source of strength, maturity, and of energising others. Not the other way around.
Back at home, we integrate successfully by simply ‘holding our heads high.’ Despite what storylines might be trying to tear down ‘our tower.’ It is not our place to defend ourselves, because we have our truth, our integrity; and that is all we need to hold up to ourselves. Integrity was built, moment to moment, choice after choice, on our journey. The greatest gift we can bring back home is being settled in that. Anyone who cannot handle who we are, well, they need to go on their own journey. So, let them create the ‘who’s bigger and who’s smaller.’ Because you know: there is no bigger, no smaller – only closer to who we truly are, and truly want to be. As it is in the mantra: You are only ever as you as how you your journey is. ‘Home’ lies in the heart of these words.
This post will be free to listen and read for 4 weeks. To access all posts at any time, please consider a paid subscription. Click here for more
Header image: Drawing and design by me.
Comments ()