EI: Noble Communication (Journal #3)

Coming at you with another free blog post, sharing selections taken from my journaling. We are very deep into the Beyond Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification Course. May these journal entries offer you some insights and helpful takeaways. Much gratitude ~ Clinton

Tuesday, August 5:

I can be compassionate and act on others’ behalf by:

• Trying to understand them on two levels:
• + They are energy. What the other person says and how that affects me starts with the way their energy is arising. Seeing that they are energy, I relieve them and myself of any negative ways either of us are relating to this moment and this interaction.
• + They are human, with form, with expression, with characteristics. They are unique, they have a story. Their energy and emotional entanglements show. It shows on their face, in their voice, in their silence, in the way they grasp. They possess a longing to have connection, and to not be in a state of uncertainty. Even in the happy times. I know and also feel this underlying suffering. I honor them. In who they are, how they appear, in this deep struggle they have.

What was the situation today?

• I stayed in a conversation with a family member, even though I was going out the door. I smiled and tried to understand what they were saying. I empathised with the feeling they might have, that they did not want me to run away. I know that would hurt them. And it can trigger old hurts or anxieties, that are larger than this moment. I know how this feels.
• My compassion was greater than my frustration. Afterwards, I acknowledged my effort, and healthily released the energy of my frustration. This was not to reinforce that being frustrated and angry is ok, but to tell myself that energy had arisen in me, and I will not indulge in it, nor will I ignore it and push it down within me. It made me happy to know that if I am practicing EI and applying what I am learning, I can benefit myself and others.
• Impact: I made a point to hug that family member next time I saw them, to compound upon the goodwill and well-being shared between us. I see that if anxieties are alleviated, it is important to confirm this feeling. If I can give this little extra gift, then they can at least have trust in the connection they have with me, and the impact is comfort and satisfaction.

Tuesday, August 12:

The ‘Noble Story’:

• I built a ‘Noble Story’ around a dear friend, and a natural curiosity and delight in our interactions arose. I was more accommodating with my time and attention, because there was a story that sparked my interest, motivating me and making me inquisitive. My language and listening changed.
• I felt the Noble Story provide a trustworthy and satisfying base to build an interaction on top of. Positive evidence was being built to support the story. I connected the dots of who my friend is, and how they can be in my eyes.
• In building a Noble Story with myself, my body and emotions followed. They adapted to live out the story. I dropped defenses. Personal compromises felt less tight and no longer unworkable. I felt open, free, and unhesitant. It made me affirm that I am on the right course, and have always been on the right course.

Further opportunities to work with Noble Story:

• It is like magic. The Noble Story has an ongoing effect. In thinking of a person when I am not around them, my perception of them feels more uplifting and fresh. And it creates anticipation, rather than reluctance, to see that person again.
• This can be something to do around people I have not met yet. Creating an anticipation and excitement. Encouraging moving toward them, rather than feeling unsure.
• This is also the same for reliving experiences in my mind, or thinking of future situations I will be in. Where I might normally feel anxiety, I can instead feel strength, being ‘willing and able.’ It makes situations where I may have doubt and fear become full of possibility and confidence.

Friday, August 15:

Conscious awareness and compassion:

• I saw today that life is alive, everything can get my gentle, slow-moving attention. It feels like love expressing itself. I can smile, I can pause, I can be. In my conversations there is celebration. In my confrontations there is irony. Because it is not as big of a deal as my ego-clinging is trying to convince me that it is.
• Infusing awareness and compassion into life is like turning on a switch. From acting with ignorance, or unknowing, to knowing.
• Feelings of safety. In ignorance, the body can feel threatened, responding to anxiety. All of this is engaging in a story of ‘danger.’ Compassion directs me to assess that there are no direct dangers taking place. Awareness helps me embody an ever-present safety. That no matter how much identity changes, grows, or is lost, I am, and always will be, an ‘all-knowing.’
• I could experience this feeling of safety rippling out. Others were held in the waves of contentment. A field that they sense at a deeper level, whether they can perceive it consciously or not. It helped me enjoy the passing of time together with them.
• I am performing an act of generosity, unconditional. This mirrors the fact that in the expanse of awareness and compassion, it is an undepletable resource. And asks nothing for all that I take from it.
  

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