EI: Window of Understanding (Journal #4)

I’m always so happy to share the free journal blog post, selecting highlights of my Emotional Intelligence journal writing. We are entering the final phase of the Beyond Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification Course, and soon I will be coaching clients! It’s quite amazing. As always, I hope these journal entries connect with you in some way. Much gratitude. ~ Clinton

Tuesday, August 19:

Rewriting my story:

• When it comes to people, just trying to meet them where they are, even if just a little bit, makes a world of difference. It shows they are worth the effort. It shows that I see them. I value them for who they are, rather than what they can do for me, or worse, acting on a story that ‘who they are’ is an inconvenience to me.
• I sometimes see a sad reality, that people have just accepted that others don’t see them. To cope, we operate at the transactional level of interactions with others. It’s almost lifeless. So, when someone makes a small effort to get to know you, it gets noticed.
• I want to be part of the world that lives in accordance with inclusivity, acceptance, and celebration of others. Writing my story this way will change my reality, and change someone else’s day. And that in turn feeds my positivity.
• Tomorrow I will find joy in the connection with others. The next person I see is not someone to just serve my ‘other, more important’ needs. What is the point of all of my other needs and achievements if I have not connected with those on my path, right in front of me? I will pay attention to how this affects my happiness. And reflect on what feels like ‘true achievement.’

Tuesday, August 26:

Mantras I created:

• Today is the one day.
  This is a general mantra to help me turn toward ‘what is good.’ It helps when I get up in the morning, or when my energy is low. It reminds me to not wait for the ‘one day’ to do something or to be happy. There is no such thing as ‘When I get this I will be happy.’ 
• Things just take getting used to.
  This mantra helps remind me that with new skills, new relationships, new challenges, etc. it is only super difficult and overwhelming in the beginning. Things always become more natural with time.
• Pequeños pasos / Paso a paso.
  Sometimes I struggle having the energy and motivation to get everything done every day. This mantra helps me on those days, to remember that one step is taken, then another. Each step is a celebration. Saying it in Spanish creates a special feeling for me that is connected to joyful expression, dancing and rhythm.
• Your energy is my energy. My energy is your energy. I work on my energy and I give this as a gift.
  This is a long mantra, but essential for me to use in all relationships. First, it is important to be mindful of my identity. If I view ‘energy’ being something that influences the connection I have with someone, I immediately feed it more gentleness, acceptance, and compassion. It also eases any harsh inner voices I might have. Second, it is not always my energy that creates these things. Finally, I imagine that my energy is a gift to others. It shifts how I manifest and shape my energy, because I want to give this as a gift that is truly special, so I treat my energy with respect and care.

Wednesday, September 4:

Metaphors:

The metaphor I am using is trying to clean off an old sticker I have put on a window. I can see perfectly well out of the window. A small section of the window is obscured by the sticker that I put on there a long time ago, because it meant something important to me. But now I want to change that, and I obsessively try to clean off the sticker. By scratching it. The more I scratch it, the worse the marks get, and it spreads. It becomes a mess.

If I just enjoyed the sticker being on there (my past), AND the view that I can still see out of the window (my present), it would be fine. But now, the sticker is just a mess of scratches, and I have lost the sticker AND the view.

But what if I leave the sticker there? Everything I am now is because of all the behaviours I have had in the past. When they were relevant to me at that point in my life. Or, I didn’t know better. I let go of trying to ‘scratch out my past,’ and trying to change my present representation of reality. How I appear in the world, or how the world appears to me.

This metaphor is very empowering for me, as it helps me release trying to fix; obsessing, resisting, or wanting something else out of the present. My relationship to the window changes, and that is what shifts the harmony of my past and present.

Header Image: Rene Terp. Visit their profile on Pexels 👉 click here