One With Everything
‘There was a harmonious bustle of commuters. Train rumbles smoothed at the edges. Light chatter outdoors and mild orders indoors at cafes. Coffee and a musky sweet smell from rose bushes scented the idle air. Azalea, a prima ballerina spinning in delighted abandon, like when she’d danced on the grass at Fritz-Schloss-Park. That time when a singular word had easefully lifted from her lips: Awareness.’ ~ from my book, Ace Egos
Inevitability of Change
Resistance to change is hard to see sometimes. The stories we create become so fixed in us, that it closes off possibilities. I have experienced this with my book. It started when I read The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown. The main character I had named Callum, but now is Scottie. This may seem like a simple thing, but it was agonising to accept. I’d become so attached to the name Callum, I tried to convince myself in every way not to change it. But, by changing it, my book would be serving Scottie’s ‘Character arc’ better. So I surrendered my ego. As the writer, I did exactly – thankfully – what I was pushing my main character to do.
A vital theme is emerging in the book. Although we navigate constant change, at the same time there is an underlying unchangeability. It is present tense. It is interconnectedness. It is God. Love. The life that each of us lives is unique. Individual. But we cannot be ‘individual’ without the whole. We are one with everything. Throughout the book, Scottie is travelling both of these paths. Becoming more himself; but developing the awareness that he is not separate. Which, is the sole inspiration to keep becoming more himself. There is no ‘him’ that he will arrive to be, only the him that he constantly is becoming.
As the book continues to grow, the growth only feels right to me when I let it grow. The book is teaching me, being embedded in me, that change is helpful. Essential. If I ignore where my work, my expression, wants to take me, this will strengthen a pattern in how I live life. It will make me ignore my heart. To do what others think I should do. But if I let my book tell me what to write, I will strengthen the pattern of being open. To embrace every day as a miracle. To be generous. To know that all of us are always trying our best. And that is delightfully enough.
From Elaborate to Elegant
Around October I had hit the halfway point of the book. The story felt great. The deeper meaning – I now needed to weave through it. Carefully. And so I began threading it through. Which led to months of editing. The next half of the book could not be written without the story/meaning ratio at a level I was happy with. I have constantly been amazed by how some sentences I had placed a note beside to ‘come back to;’ and having gotten halfway through the book, I could see clearly that these parts I had put a note beside were exact moments waiting for meaning. To nourish everything. Enriching the scenes, the dialogue, and the story’s trajectory.
In life, we become more and more elaborate. Gaining more experience and perspective. At some point, elegance happens. Which is, where we only do, say, or be what is necessary. But we do it honouring all we have learned. Alluding to the greater story that we are. It is beautiful to watch someone be truly elegant. True elegance is smooth and simple, but carries within it the depth of everything. Fortunately, we don’t have to live an entire life to express elegance. If we only learn five things, we can do two things amazingly, integrating the wealth of the five. As opposed to – if we learn three things, and we force those three things into our lives over and over, we look and feel constrained. There is no room for improvisation. No room for discovery.
Being one with everything is the same. By being our unique selves, we are an expression of the total. We don’t have to reveal everything, rather, we let our unfolding self, reflect everything. I cannot put all of the coolest things I know into one book. A project only has enough space for a few great ideas. At some point, too many ideas diminish the power of a few. ‘Meaning’ is about being accurate, and about everything else around it letting the meaning stand out. This is the greatest lesson I have learned during this period. I have to be selective. The term that comes to mind is: A quality life. As it is written in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. 18-year-old me would never have been able to see that, as he turned the pages of that book, not 100% following what was written.
All For One
There is a saying in Brazil: tamo junto. It means so many of the encouraging sayings we have in English, all wrapped up in one phrase. Primarily, its translation is ‘We are together,’ which is lovely in itself. It has a sense of camaraderie, but also a sense of sympathy, of letting be. In demonstrating togetherness, we have to be willing to see limitations. Not everyone will like my book. I won’t like what everyone else will like. Everyone has their own inclinations. Their own instincts. It is just as important to follow your own instincts as it is to let others follow theirs.
This comes back to the way we see ourselves. If we let ourselves be, practicing acceptance, we can create so much space in our lives. We literally have the potential to let everything flow through us. We don’t have to consciously catch it all, every single moment, every single detail. By living our own lives, guided by the meaning that guides us, we are a living example of a universal principle. Scottie is a rock n’ roll drummer. But his energy is alive. The same life that is in the energy of the dancer, business person, pilot, doctor, or chess player. We relate to the world, and to others, through our unique lived experiences. It helps us be the greater meaning that we try so hard to look for. This is how life is, every moment, every day. It doesn’t need great explanation. Just simple meaning. And with that, everything is ok.
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Commissioned pencil drawing by Kamvanc. Reworked into a design by me. Visit the artist 👉 click here
Music Track 01: Shakin’ Up Saturday – by BugGiRL. Click to listen
Music Track 02: Tonglen – by Mandala Tone.
Music Track 03: Bad Blood – by BugGiRL. Click to listen
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